20/08/14 The heat hit me as soon as I stepped off the plane.
It was like a big muggy humid wave, like I’d just walked into a sauna. As we
walked out of the airport it was crazy, a sea of people infront of us asking ‘do you want
a taxi lady?’, ‘taxi?’ So many people trying to get your attention, so many signs
for different people and somehow we didn’t notice a sign with my name on it
for the first 10 minutes when it was right in front of us amongst the chaos. The
heat made me feel sick and I struggled travelling to the hotel. I read my book
to try and take my mind off it whilst taking peeks of the crazy horn beeping,
car swerving roads around me. A Buddha bopping his head at the front of the
car. Normally Iam a firm atheist but right then I was praying to all the Gods in
this crazy place. Scrawny fingers would appear through the traffic and smog
tapping on your window with books and keyrings on them and voices shouting ‘buy!’. The
landscapes were so mixed up you’d have beautiful gardens next to piles of
rubbish and rubble with pieces of plastic on top of a roof. Beautiful buildings
popping up next to rubbled homes. The poor and rich seemed to mingle together
everywhere. There was no divide. Big posh hotel next to a row of half built,
half falling down houses where people lived and sold food out of. There was men
everywhere! Stalls on the sides of the streets, lying snoozing everywhere.
Driving the three wheeled scooter cars whizzing past. So busy, so crowded but
it was all men! This was so odd and kind of a bit intimidating. When we finally
pulled up it was all a little scary. Lots of security checks but if all else fails
we where next door to Mcdonalds and Pizza Hut.
The hotel was big and posh in a dated swirly carpets 60s
kind of way. We were surrounded by men trying to help us. A little man with a
giant moustache wrestled with our bags twice the size of him. I drifted off to sleep as soon as my head hit
the pillow on the hugggge bed. The lack of sleep had hit me. My stomach still
felt a bit dodgey so I ate a packet of pickled onion space raiders and a rocky
bar. I felt like Karl Pilkington. We ventured out next to the hotel there was a
small square of shops and street food stalls. Busy, lots of flies, the floor
was unevenand an old man looked like he was dying in the middle of the pavement. A
mixture of business men in suits and begger children trying to get our
attention. We didn’t stay out long, so many flies and filth around us. Nothing
looked clean so we decided not to eat out there and quickly scrambled back to
the hotel. Its a pretty posh and snazzy hotel with a huge lobby and sweeping
staircases I was worried about the price to eat here! I’d heard they charged what tax they wanted
and would just add all these different extras on at the end. We ordered a few
different dishes but nothing crazy. The food was delicious, spicy without steam
coming out of your ears. It felt healthy too not like Indian food at home where
your plate has a whole puddle of oil at the bottom and your nan bread drips
with it. The puddings were little bite size ones and I couldn’t resist a couple
of little chocolatey numbers. Well I am holiday after all! With the millions of
extra taxes it came to £34 which was
really good for the quality of the food, booze and they gave us the pudding for
free! Whoop free pud!!
After a quick visit to the bar we crashed and burned pretty
early!
1/08/14 When the alarm went off at 7 am it did not feel like
I’d slept much even when the bed was super cosey. Breakfast was interesting all
sorts of random things. We managed to
get some scrambled eggs and a bit of bacon next to the curry, chicken patties
and steak?! We felt satisfied but not over full. I didn’t even go to the pastry
counter even though I could see trays of delightful coissants, doughnuts and Danish
pastries. We went to meet the guy for our first tour of New Delhi and Old
Delhi starting with a huge temple and where
Ghandi was cremated.
We were lucky that it was an air conditioned small bus and we
were with another young English couple. The heat was crazy straight away, at
first I tried to stay covered up. I was trying to remember the things I’d read.
Tattoos are frowned upon, too much leg, cleavage, public signs of affection!
It took about 2 hours before I thought fuck it and got my tats out. People were
staring at us anyway so it didn’t really matter. We visited many places.
Extravegent beautiful buildings and we got to go on a 20 minute rickshaw ride
around the market. A chance to be amoungst the hustle and bustle of it all. We had the scrawniest guy cycling me and Mr D
round on like a little cart behind him. He must have been gutted when he saw he
had us and not the other couple who were about 10 stone lighter than us. It was
good as you manged to get close to the stalls and smell all the wonderful smells
of flowers, insence and freshly squeezed fruit juice. It was also a much safer
way to travel as we would just be hassled constently if we were walking round.
As the journey went on the cyclist started pointing at places like ‘cinema’
obviously trying to impress us so we’d give him a better tip. Sorry chap but
pointing out a cinema isn’t really going to cut it. As the journey went on he
started saying ‘hard work!’ Yes mate you might as well be saying ‘you fat
bastards’ When Mr D gave him a tip at the end (bear in mind he’d already been
paid by the travel company to take us) he wanted more of a tip! I had to walk away
I was so annoyed. You don’t tell us you want more of a tip! Espically as you're
just basically telling us we're fat bastards!! Cheeky git.
At meal times its so hard not to over indulge here. Its not
like you can just have a salad or a sandwhich. I did okay I just ordered some
tandoori and a roti so it was kind of a deconstructed sandwhich. After 2pm the temperature
was crazy hot, no smog today so the sun felt strong. People kept taking photos of us. It was weird
everybody would stare and some people would get really close and take a photo.
Some tried to be sneaky, lets pretend I’m taking a photo of my mate and casually
go a bit more to the left and some were just blantly obvious. I asked the guide
why and he said they think pale skin is beautiful here. Whoo get pasty me, no
make up, hair shoved up , sweaty and ‘beautiful’
We got back and risked going for a swim. The pool was nice
and private with a calming waterfall and bubble jets which was quite relxing
considering how close we were to the hustle and bustle. I don’t like getting my
kit off at the best of times but I deffo don’t like taking my dress off infront
of 5 men staring at me and I mean blantly staring. I also reaslised I’d not
picked the best swim suit! I’d gone for a flattering (well as flattering as you
can get for a fatty swimsuit), very busty number to take the emphasis away from my fat
belly! Its hard to get a plus size swimsuit thats not low cut. I’m hardley going
to wear a speedo one up to my neck. Actualy I don’t expect speedo do plus
sizes! I dashed into the water as quick as possible!
We went upstairs to get ready and I was pottering round the
room in the buff when I saw a mans face at the window!! Were on the bloody 5th
floor! By the time I grabbed a towel he’d vanished and we’d noticed scaffolding
had appeared outside the window. Well I wont make that mistake again!! We then
hit happy hour. I managed to get 4 cocoktails in before dinner. Dinner was
buffet, I tried a bit of most of the curries but none of them were hot. The
veggie ones were the best ,a nice lental dahl and green spinachy paneer one. I
saved room for a little bit of pud and had a little lemon tart and ice cream.
The ice cream was disappointing as everything else is soo damn tasty! I got
excited when I saw butterscotch but it
was more like honeycomb. People should not mess with my ice cream! I never
learn my lesson, food indulgence always means I don’t want to drink. I only had
a water at the bar what a cop out!
22/8/14- Had a really good nights sleep but woke up with a
little bit of a dodgy belly. Not major, Mr D was worse but seemd okay after
spending time in the bathroom and popping some pills. We then started our 5
hour trip to Agra. Which would prob take about 2 hours in England but the roads are
crazy. Apparently it would be dangerous to follow the rules on the road because
nobody else does. The only thing any of the drivers stop for is the cows! Cows
do what they want because they are sacred. Doesnt matter if you nearly take out
a scooter with a family of 5 on as long as the holy bloody cows are safe! It
was nice though we had our new friends with us and I had my book to finish....it took about 5 hours.
A few things I don’t understand
here are why they don’t like tattoos when the ladies are covered in henna? Its
not like we have all got flaming skulls and the word cunt written on our
foreheads?! The other thing is that we cant show much skin as it is frowned
upon. Why is that when most of the ladies here, of all shapes and sizes have fabric
just about covering their busts and have their whole guts hanging out? You wouldn’t
catch me with my gut out thats for sure! Then theres the thing about no public
affection. When the men here are always touching each other. Walking around
holding hands, draped all over each other, holding each other?! Hmm
I craved something plain to eat. I’m only 3 days in and
could already kill for a tuna subway and packet of ready salted crisps! The new
hotel was beautiful, I quickly nipped to the loo and came back and everyone was
sitting with bindies on their heads. Suited Mr D ;) Started with a disappointing
lunch where I just picked at some rice, bread and paneer. This hotel was more
modern and it had a fantastic pool. It was set in beautiful gardens and didn’t feel
like just out the front was a city that looked like a bomb had hit it.
We added an extra trip this evening which is pretty good as
the travel company are happy to take us on extras. We went to the back view of
the Taj Mahal where with our new buddies we sat on a wall and watched the sun
go down. It was so chilled and beautiful if you ignored the crowd of locals
that hovered behind you and clung tight to your handbag. I have started to
get used to the poor people bothering us. To be honest most aren’t beggers
their just trying to sell you keyrings, jewlerry, a dusty old fridge magnet. I
cant help but feel bad for them but whens there too many I do snap and tell
them not to be so damn rude and to get out of peoples faces! Its everywhere you
go ‘No I don’t want 10 keyring of the Taj Mahal’
We got back on the mini bus just before it got dark. This
is the only time you really get to see the ladies come out. Colourful women
appear amoungst the grey rubble all dressed imacutly in their colourful saris
instantly brightening the place up carrying piles of twigs and pots on their
heads.
We went back and got showered and changed for dinner. I
bought my white dress with a fitted band around the middle knowing it fits snugly
and it would be best for me to wear it at the start of the week. It fitted
snugger than I’d hoped already showing signs of the pounds creeping on. Part of
the stitches had come undone on the strap so I couldn’t wear it anyway so I
tried on the nice blue dress I’d only worn once. It clung to my middle and I
looked fat and lumpy and horrible. I could of only have worn it if I’d breathed
in all night and thats before I’d even eaten. Disapointed I went for a safe
option dress.
It was a nice evening of cocktails and lamb curry. It was
the first time I’d eaten anything with heat in it. Strange really you’d assume
everything would be hot in India.
23/8/14 Breakfast has been so weird in India. They try
really hard at provide some English food but its just really odd. Stir fry veg
and beef stroganoff? Yep thats right they have served beef stroganoff for
breakfast everywhere weve been. I’ll give that a miss thanks, luckily they had
scrambled eggs.
Today was the big one, off to the Taj Mahal! We had a horse
and carridge ride to get there. The travel company were really good with including all the extras in like that, couldn’t really fault them! It was truely
amazing and our tour guide told us all about the love story of how it was built
and it was genuinely interesting. Me and Mr D tried to find a nice spot in the
shade just to chill and admire the view. Unfortuantely this did not last more
than a couple of minutes. It started with a family that stuck their shy daughter
between us for a photo. Then the groups of men started surrounding us
constantly taking our photo. Some asking, some just taking it anyway I was
starting to get really annoyed. Its 45 degreese heat I do not need people
pissing me off.
As the days go on in India by each afternoon I start getting
light headed and restless. By the time we made it to the red fort I was light
headed, delirous and swearing like a pig. Why would I choose to get my fringe
put in before going to India. It was glued to my forehead. This may have been a
good look in the 90s but it was not looking good right now! I didn’t take in
anything the guide was telling me and decided I would be the tour guide and
tell the story of Aladin. ‘If you look out at the view you can see the Taj
Mahal. The Palace as Aladdin would call it. This is where he slept, he liked to
look over at the palace. ‘Some day Abu, we’ll be rich, live in a palace and
never have any problems at all’
After standing in the crazy heat for longer constantly getting
harassed like we were famous for just being pasty! We got back to the bus and
were taken to a marble factory. I thought it was dodgy straight away. It was
basically so the tour guides mate could sell us some stuff. Everythings linked
to the Taj Mahal like thats going to make us tourists want to buy it more. ‘This
is the marble used in the Taj Mahal. These men who are making the marble are
the mens family who made he Taj Mahal’ Mate saying the Taj Mahal in every sentence
is not going to make me buy anything!! I just looked and nodded and made the
most out of my free diet coke. I went off to the loo and it made me gag over
and over again it stunk but I couldn’t stop mid flow! I was over heating, felt
sick and needed air. I managed to get outside. Men everywhere trying to flog me
things, in my face! Some of the marble workers beckoned me over. I was cautious
but Mr D said they were being kind. They gave me a seat in the cool room and it
took approx 2 minutes before they were trying to flog us bits of marble on the
side. I went back outside noticing a group of men staring at us. One of them
came over and started unlocking a padlock to a kind of shed on the side saying ‘come
in here’ No thanks!! No dark room gang rapes for us today!! We quickly crossed
over and hid by the mini bus and luckily set off shortly after. Its sad to
think that everybody that is nice to you here is just out to get your money.
When we got back back to the hotel we had a nice cold shower
and embarrassingly managed to order a tuna sandwhich in the hotel. I felt fine.
The tuna was a bit odd and slightly warm but I was happy not to be eating something curry related. We then spent the
next 3 hours by the pool. It was pretty much the 4 of us. Swimming, relaxing,
reading and even a cheeky glass of wine. I was in paradise.
The tour company had recommended a restaurant for dinner as
we really didn’t fancy eating in this hotel. They would take us anywhere. It
was like we had our own chauffer drive us round in our little air conditioned
bus. ‘Good evening Kamel, take us to the restaurant please’ ‘No problem mam’ I
looked at the menu but it all looked the same. It all just seemed so samey all
the time, I didn’t fancy any of it! I just told Mr D he could choose. It was a bit
odd as there was only 4 of using the whole restaurant and 12 male members of
staff lulling around us. You don’t really get any peace when your eating or
drinking. The waiters are always there hovering behind us.
We followed it with a cheeky drink or 2 at the bar and then
hit our massive bed. Off to jaipur tomorrow..
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