Time to join a slimming club??

03/09/14- 6.15am Mr Ds alarm went off. He then has another 2 go off over the next 40 mins! It doesn’t matter that I do not need to be awake at 6.15 and I can never just doze straight off like he does ugh!! First day back to work and even though I knew I’d feel fine I felt a bit apprehensive on the way. I was fine once I was there!!

Food Hygiene training ugh. Last time I did this it was online and lasted 20 minutes. Yes I did fail that first time but does it really need to be a whole day?! Longggg boring day which I sat fidgeting, drinking fruit tea and doodling in my book.

Really didn’t want to go the gym. Mr D was back early and we were just chilling having a snuggle. I went to the bathroom and caught my reflection in the mirror of me in my my knickers and vest and thought I really should go to the gym but then sat back on my bed. Mr D then walked in from the shower looking good and I thought I really need to go to the gym. Still sat on the bed. An advert came on where Julia Roberts looked amazing in a tight figure hugging dress and shes like 50 or something?! I got off my fat ass and got my gym gear on! I always dread doing exercise when Ive not done it for a bit but if your going to do it might as well go straight in to the hardcore and go to Insanity! My cousin C came to Insanity tonight shes got through some trials with the police and is trying to up her fitness levels. She alot thinner than me but were a similar shape. Think most of us ladies are a similar shape on my mums side. I like to call it the two bellies! Yove either got a shape that you have one roundish belly or your bellies kind of separate in to 2. So youve got your middle and then your tyre if your a fat bastard like me! Luckily I don’t have any more tyres but that is more than plenty! Luckily were also blessed with ample busom. All fat birds should be blessed with that its the least we can have! Fat birds with no boobs really have got a rough ride, thats just bloody unfair!! The class went well.  C seemed to struggle on the same bits as me. The upper body stuff where you have to do walking press ups and one handed burpees! Seriously how many people can do one handed burpees?? At the end of one of the sections there was a high knees jog. Mine wasn’t very high kneed until I spotted the girl next to me fully going for! I thought this skinny bird aint going to out jog me so I stepped up my game!

05/09/14 I procrastinated as much as possible this morning before going to my first aid class. 30 minutes before I was due to start I was still sat at home with my feet up eating raspberries, blueberries, yogurt and granola for breakfast.  Must look into getting some healthier gronala as this Jacobs one seems quite high in calories.Whats even in it? Can I make it myself? I need to look into that pintrest thing im sure that would tell me but im shocking with technology. Cant work it out!

As I walked in I saw the 2 night staff that I know a little bit from work. It was at a Primary School down the road and we walked in to a school hall with 60 staff all sat in a circle staring at us wondering who the hell we were. I was glad 2 I at least knew these 2 abit. Ive done first aid courses so many times ! Adolencent ones, the full 4 day sha bang so from the word go I wasnt really interested and started day dreaming. I reckon I could easily work out who was who in this room. There was clearly the dinner lady corner. Crude, giggerly and the ones shouting out and laughing the loudest. The teaching assistants who just look like poorer versions of the teachers. The admin staff, A few young apprentices and the serious looking pencil skirted lady at the end . Then  I was trying to work out the teachers. There there was the obvious looking PE teacher in Sports Gear, The geeky looking but serious science teacher. The guy with the pony tail, the grubby looking converse and asked the strange questions could be the art teacher. The young smart but still modern lady must teach the little ones. Im not sure what the young tattooed guy with his v neck nealy down to his belly button was, he  looks like hes a boyband reject could be a dance teacher?but it did remind me I needed to book tickets for the Big Reunion so texted the girls to see if they fancied it. Which reminded I wanted to see Lady Gaga so I texted Mr D and told him. I then thought about how I wanted a Lady Gaga themed birthday and then thought about what themes I would look for my hen do. I then started doodling my Halloween costume. As well as all this I did a bit of resuscitation and patted people on the back if they were pretending to choke. We were next to the dinner ladies who were making jokes about our Micheal Jackson Style resuscitation dummy and pretending to breast feed the baby resuscitation doll. The 2 instructers also thought they were funny. They were that unfunny they were funny. They looked the same both with grey bowl cuts, bad black comfy shoes  and square glasses. They were like the Chuckle brothers apart from the male of the 2 kept lurking behind a attractive young girl and kept trying to get her to volunteer. She kept slipping in the odd slightly filthy joke including one about wrapping  someone up in a bandage but change the 'a' in bandage to an 'o'. The whole thing was badddd  but I sat there in my own little word amused by everybody around me and making plans for the months ahead. I spent the afternoon planning a weekend away next week and managed to get a really good deal on groupon. I am not willing to accept summer is over and the weather lady keeps saying its going to be a nice few weeks. It wasn’t a easy task as I needed a cheap weekend away not too far for 4 adults, a toddler and 2 dogs! I succeeded and got a cottage for 2 nights for £100 for all of us in the beautiful Yorkshire countryside!! Boom £25 each.

Off home for the Bessie coming over. Good to have a catch up and a good natter. Cooked a one pot number. Sausages, roasted veggies, sweet poatoe in a mustardy dressing. We talked bridesmaids, babies and hen nights. Pretty much covers everything.

05/09/14- In a new class today. Ive been in there a couple of times but its nice to know which class im going to be in for the year plus they have new kids so we can start a fresh together! Its harder to come in when the kids are very attached to the staff. The staff are really nice and were discussing my favourite subjects very early on. Weddings and diets! Boom I’ll be fine here! One lady gets married 2 days before me shes lost 4 and a half stone and bought her dress! Shes on slimming world and told me how great it is like the rest of the world! That you can lose weight eating as much pasta/rice and potatoes as you like!? For the whole of this year I thought this cant be right. Ive had clean eating  is the only way to lose weight.  Exercise and eat healthy. Well Ive done plenty of that and just end up going round and round in circles everytime I have a weekend away. Well fuck it if I really want to lose weight for my wedding I cant do this alone anymore. Time to try something new! Stuff my face with carbs and lose weight? I’m in!! When can I join??

Theres a few morning  Slimming World classes and I’m going to join next week. I know I will be joining just before our weekend away but the more I put it off the more I’ll just eat and think of excuses so next week I am starting this! Ive had a nose and done some research and it is basically really limiting fats. Limited butter, oils and creamy things. I actually think i might be able to  do this at work! I’m totally going to do this. Right I am not going to do that thing where I eat filthy up until I start my diet. I’m not going to do it, I’m not going to do it!

Cherry Tree for mums birthday dinner! I’m going to be good, I’m going to be good. I’ll just have a couple of crispy roast potatoes, and a little bit of chessey and mash and a Yorkshire pud! Oops plenty of veg on there too! Felt like a fat bastrad afterwards so had to wash it down with a few white wine spritzers. There was a table next to me with a few average sized folk and a couple of slightly over weight. Not as fat as me and they’d gone for the mega carvery plate. It was disgusting a huge plate with a mountain of food on! 4 yorkshire puddings pilled amougnst mounds of mash. It was ridiculous like something off man vs food. How do they do that? How do they put all that away and not be incredibly fat?? Everybody ordered cake away to share. Though I wasn’t hungry at that point I fancied something chocolatey and peanutty but Mr D chose a lemon drizzle cake. As I got up to walk out I realised how bloated I was. I was wearing a red maxi dress clinging on to summer and I honestly looked pregnant. My middle was round. That is awful. I look fucking pregnant!! I tried to hide it with my bag, breathed in and scuttled off to the car sulking. I got home to see the dog had ripped the middle of the brand new duvet and duvet cover on the spare bed I’d bought just days ago! I was so mad! Stuffing from the duvet everywhere! The good times are over pooch you can sleep in your own bed in the kitchen!! ‘No I don’t want any lemon drizzle cake, I wanted chocolate peanut!’ ‘Okay I’ll just finish it off for you’ ugh off to bed. Fat not pregnant!

06/09/14 Mr D was working this morning so had the morning to myself. I then remembered that he had taken my car in to fix the squirters so I decided to do some painting. I painted the boring looking small pine wardrobe Mr D bought with him and put in the spare room when he moved in. Its so nice to no longer have a lodger as we can completly spread out now. I decided to be frugal and went in the shed and dug out a very light green paint and added some blue to make a duck egg colour. I must admit I did a pretty good job. Sometimes i’m quite happy to potter round by myself.  Mr D was feeling pretty worn out and I was still not feeling great so we spent sometime chilling. I popped out to get my hair done as Ive recently got in touch with a girl who used to do my hair in college. She was a student and practising, that was 10 years ago. We used to chat about our second hand handbags before it was ‘vintage’ and ‘cool’. It was a vintage fair and she was doing hair put ups for a tenner. I know I was only going to a house party but any excuse to have cute hair! She did it in about 10 minutes she was so quick and very good. If anyones looking for vintage hair I recommend her ‘Necias Hair’ look her up! (Shame ive already booked my wedding hair)We then went out to my cousins birthday party. I had a bottle of amerreto with me as I know I deffo wont be allowed that on any diet I start so might as well enjoy the lovely bakwell tart in a glass before I begin. It was quite a family event and even though we’d eaten before we came out we found ourselves grazing on sausage rolls and chicken goujons. A drink was spilt on the table and fully coated my tights and even went in my shoes. Mr D got a splash too but I spent the night with my tights stuck to my legs. The comment made was ‘If you were in a night club it would be worse than that.' Good job I wasn’t then! It was a nice evening and everyone seemed to be quite merry. I wasn’t really that drunk probably because Amerreto might taste amazing but is only about 10% alcohol! I went to bed with a shower cap on to try and have my beautiful 50s hair for another day.

07/09/14 Woke up with a very sweaty head. I’m not sure sleeping in quite a thick shower cap is the best thing to do though my hair wasn’t looking to bad! We enjoyed peanut butter on toast for breakfast and then took the pooch for a walk. We went to his favourite spot in all the trees and he ran around like a mad head. I do love a nice Sunday dog stroll with Mr D. We were hoping to go and visit Mr Ds parents but his dad was working so we went to my cousins for a lunchtime BBQ. She had a BBQ the next day so the oldies could come to this one and invited the rest of us too. They’d never done a BBQ before so we had to be patient waiting for the dessposable BBQ on the floor but she’d made some good potatoe salad and coleslaw and I love good coleslaw. After we were all full a load more meat came out half an hour later so i did squeeze in a couple of koftas and one of my burgers I bought I’d been waiting for. I let my Uncle Smithy have the burnt one that came out first! I spent most of the time grilling my Aunty about Slimming World. Shes been doing it a long time but is at goal but she still goes otherwise she’ll put it back on. My nans been doing it for a while and I asked her how many syns were in the large white cob with thick butter and 2 cheese slices was and she said she wsnt sure ‘about  4’ I haven’t started yet but I’m pretty sure that is quite a few more than 4. My nans been doing slimming clubs for as long as I can remember but I think she does them more as a social gathering. To be fair though she has lost about a stone recently but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have much of a clue about the diet! The conversation turned to ice bucket challenges ‘rolls eyes’ and it wasn’t just about donating it was about the awareness. I said I hadn’t seen anything on what the charity was for other than a text number. I asked ‘what is it raising awareness for?’ the reply i got was ‘Some cancer charity’. I rest my case.

We then went to Asda with my big list of things to buy ready for the diet! Mr D has been fabulously supportive and hasn’t moaned at all about me going on and on about Slimming World. The only way I can give it my all is if I’m completly organised and obsess about it! We got home and chilled out. I tried to use up anything we still had in the freezer that wouldn’t be allowed on the new diet so by 8pm we were hungry and we had a nice simple dinner of pasty, cheesey mash and baked beans. I do love a good pastry.

08/09/14 Monday morning again but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t get called up for supply as its the first Monday back. Who will call in sick on the first Monday back? I didn’t get called up but because of that I’d never made any plans. I decided to treat myself and stay in bed after 8am this is rare for me. I picked up my mum and we went for a potter around Asda. We’d gone with work last week and I’d seen some really good priced outdoor paint. It was all gone, the bargains were pretty rubbish most of the sale stuff had gone so was a bit of a wasted journey. We went to B and M and I stashed up on my diet coke before dropping mum off home. I didn’t eat lunch I just grazed on crisps, bread and anything knocking about.

I stood infront of Mr D and told him ‘this is the last time your going to see me this fat’

09/09/14 Enjoyed my last bit of thick white toast for breakfast and got ready to go to Slimming World. I didn’t feel nervous just wanted to get this first weigh in and what will be a horrible result on the scales out of the way and behind me. Its annoying that there is a class right at the end of my road but this class is Wednesday evenings like a lot of the classes so I had to travel right near where I have to work. I arrived and everywhere seemed locked up. I read the sign and it said ‘Thursday mornings at 9.15am’ Bloody hell! I got the wrong day! Annoyed with myself I headed back home. Why do I never read things properly?! I decided to change my plan a bit and go to a class Wednesdays  when I’m on my split shift. Right tomorrow is the day I start! Tomorrow is my fresh start! I joked to my friend well at least its another day I can eat what i want but to be honest I wasn’t that bothered. I didn’t eat properly for the rest of the day I just grazed. After days of just letting myself have what I want I don’t want it anymore. I had training in the afternoon and enjoyed a snickers bar I’m sure they would be loads of syns on slimming world.My boss laughed when I said I’m treating myself to some chocolate before my diet starts tomorrow and she said she always does the same thing. Does everyone have a crazy treat few days before starting a new diet? I was actually quite happy to get back to doing my shifts at work. It was good to see the kids. I feel like Ive forgetton everything after having the summer off! Its like a fresh start again with different kids and in new classes. I do feel settled in this school which is nice. Unfortuantley the food was no better  for pudding it looked like some chocolatey goodness but was actually jelly topped with chocolate angel delight. Ugh not so good. I was supposed to finish at 10pm tonight and was going to have the ultimate last treat for my supper. Walkers cheese and onion crisp butty! But I got to finish early so just ate the crisps on the way home I didn’t want to take them home and have to share them with Mr D. Its always nice to get back from a late to Mr D just not shar my crisps with him.

Tomorow I will make big changes! I will join Slimming world and finally be thin!!!