Suck me in undies

10/11/14 I eat, sleep and dream caravan!! I was partly hoping I wouldn’t be needed for supply but knew I could do with the extra cash for Christmas. I got the phone call but went to work just for the morning. I dashed around and munched a couple of boiled eggs on the way. I quite like just doing the morning it went really quick even thought I didn’t know the class well. I picked my mum up on the way back from work. Got to get her working hard on the sewing. The red curtains I got for £3 turned out the perfect size and mum worked really hard upholstering the bottoms of the sofa/bed. I put polka dot vinyl on the top of the table and the the 2 small tables and added lots of pretty accessories. Luckily our house is already brimming full of goodies so a few less in the house wouldn’t be a problem. A few baskets in, bunting, cushions and hanging hearts and it was looking brilliant!! Even though the top cushions aren’t finished I put the fabric over the top and everything in place for when Mr D got home. His words were ‘is it just covered in hanging hearts?’ Well yes but perfectly positioned hearts. He then spent the next hour  putting back on all the cupboard doors and it looked amazing! Not quite done but absolutely fucking wicked for 3 days!! To top it off we had a yummy sausage stew that had been in the slow cooker all day. Made another veggie mash (much better than yesterdays) It was fab and the butter beans really a great touch. I really wanted another cookie for supper dunked into my milk allowance. I did have enough syns but really want to have less syns this week so I opted for 2 of my rolo cakes in milk microwaved. The milk did go a little chocolaty, the cake wasn’t great but was an okay evening treat. Good day, will save my cookie until after weigh in. Hope it will still be soft!

11/11/14 Got up early and was supposed to be writing the first chapter of my book and the synopsis for it for a competition on This Morning. I look back at my original blog now and they are short and mainly focussed on my exercise classes and how Im feeling. There was no detail on my day, cooking or all the million things every day that tempt me to stray off my diet. I had no idea how much they had changed. For the good I hope. I wrote about 2 lines then procrastinating I went off to buy goodies for the caravan. I just wanted some storage baskets and some pretty hooks to hang things from but couldn’t find any in my usual bargain shops!! I may have to do the tempting fabulous thing I shouldn’t do when Im skint. Go to T K Maxx homewear!! Ooo that excites me nearly as much as a chocolate hobnob!! That will have to be another time as I needed to get home and do lunch and some of my book before work. I did a bit more but I really wasn’t in the mood. I had leftover stew and veggy mash for lunch, the plate felt so heavy. Its weird how thinking this heavy plate of stodgy healthy winter goodness is healthier than a sandwich? After that I went off to work.  Busy night at work which I ended up eating a carrot cake and grazing! Why do I graze the night before weigh in?? I know its because in my head I still have syns left which I did on purpose to lose an extra 1lb but know I bloody eat them instead!! For fucks sake!!

12/11/14 I was fast off when my alarm went off this morning it was dark and warm Mr D was still in bed and I really didn’t want to get out. I quickly showered threw my hair in a bun. I’d put a soup mixture in the slow cooker the day before (because I’d bought it for 10p and didn’t want to waste it) with some stock and in my half asleep state thought it would be a good idea to put some Bulgar wheat, green beans and cherry tomatoes in for when I got back. Im super organised even when Im not even fully awake. I went off to work and forgot my yogurt for breakfast again. Well there was no way i was going to let myself have toast this week after last nights little much. Luckily I had a emergency orange at the bottom of my bag and had that with a fruit tea. I was naughty and had another cheeky weigh in. I know its bad but it prepares me for whats going to happen. I’d rather know in advance when Im on my own than in front of everybody luckily it was looking pretty good and fingers crossed I’d be beneath the next stone bracket. I was feeling pretty hungry by the time I was off to get weighed. There were 3 cookies left in the bag but I thought that was a little bit much. Dont want to be binging now do I? So just took the 2 with me for after my Bulgar wheat with veggies and chicken breast which had actually fluffed up nicely. I arrived early today and had a chance for a good natter with the ladies. L was telling us how much she’d ate after weigh in last week, hotdogs, chocolate and a large dominoes pizza which was about 170 syns alone!! She then had to be mega good for the rest of the week. Im not sure I could do that. I like a treat at the weekends way too much and they’d be none of that if I had a naughty Wednesday! She said its hard because her partner thinks she lost enough weight and brings back cakes and wants to go out for dinner. I can only imagine how hard this must be! Im lucky how supportive Mr D is but to be honest this diet really hasn’t affected our lives much. I went up to get weighed and was really chuffed to have lost 2.5! Only a pound off my next half a stone!! Im going to smash right through that this week. Me and L have said were going to stay in touch all week cut down on syns and eat loads of veggies!! Really need to be good this week with being away the weekend after. Not having take away or alcohol must have really helped this week. I may of snacked a lot but I know exactly the amount of syns in the snacks which can be unclear with take aways. The woman next to me said, ‘I love swearing. I love swearing  and alcohol’ ha I like her. Off I went with a big smile on my face and I had a choice to use my hands to hold my big hood up from the rain or get wet and enjoy my cookies. I chose the latter. I went off to work with the aim of no snacking. I like Wednesdays at work its a good night. With my more casual approach to eating on weigh in day I didn’t go for jacket potato for dinner I went all out and had quorn hot dog in a white bun and a chocolate rice crispy cake for pudding. Not awful or anything but I should probably not get into bad habits. I went home for a hot choc and snickers. Mmmm been so long since Ive had a snickers. The chocolate nutty goodness was just soooooo good.

13/11/14 I was much more in the mood this morning to do my book. My step bro very nicely edited my grammar for me. I had a couple of boiled eggs with some spaghetti not great but I was hungry and had no yogurts in. Then I went for my naughty trip to TK Maxx Homewear, I almost did a little sex wee when I saw all the lovelies. I bought some new hooks a nice little metal number for the kitchen. I also picked a couple of herb boxes cheap at hombase which I wanted to nail to the wall for storage. Herbs will come in handy too. It was then time for my counselling session. I bloody love my counsellor she makes me feel like a good person! An intelligent person that knows what they want and where there going in life. Is that really me? I need her by my side all the time telling me how fab i am ha ha! Told her about my good week and the caravan . She said it was a fab idea and compared it to Prozac. A little pick me up when i fancy it. When Im stressed i can just sod off and relax for the weekend. After 3 weeks shes got me completely sussed out. We were talking about how Im either really happy or really low and no in between she said this is often the case for people with big personalities who like to live life to the full. I didn’t really go into any bad stuff this week I didn’t want to think about any. I know I will have to at some point.

I went to work daydreaming about how amazing it would be if I won the book competition. You just never know. So its Thursday which is carb eating day. Not spuds today but pasta!! I had pasta with passata, onion, chilli, garlic and spinach with one low fat sausage. I thought I had 2 left but no only one so wasn’t great. I made it in a hurry and was trying to eat it and send off my book entry at the same time. Disappointing. After the usual cake and McDonald's avoidance at work this afternoon in ‘the cake class’ I made a pasta snack. I know its not good to be snacking on pasta but I didn’t want to use my syns and I didn’t have much to use! I had half a bag of mushroom packet pasta with half a tin of sweetcorn  with a table spon of light phili.

Off we went to the circus. Opening act was a clown called Nicolato whos big amazing act was balancing his hat on his back and flicking it on his head?!  When they announced the acrobats from Kazachstan I was hoping for 3 Borats but Im pretty sure Borat didn’t have a rat tail Platte going down his back with a nice mullet style on top. There was also a fire lady, I was worried for her life! Im pretty sure her hair was slicked back with hair spray and her top had long satin sleeves! She be a fire ball in seconds. The lady behind me who through the whole act said ‘Oh God that's amazing’ approximately every 5 seconds and then said very loudly ‘If this fire lady goes wrong the whole tent will go up and we’ll all burn alive’ lovely. There was also a ‘lady’ from Ukraine but I wasn’t sure she was a lady. She was heavily made up and very muscly, thighs of steel!  which you’d need to be to hang by some rope but I guess in lycra you’d notice and bulges unless you could tuck things up nicely. There were no safety nets and a few near misses I deffo don’t want to be sitting here and see someone fall to their death. Its not big and its not clever! We were finally near the end when we had a nice juggling act from a man with a big smile wearing a wet look black shirt and sequined trousers. Forgot we were in the 70s. I saved my syns for my late night work snacking but was good and only used 6 on the salted caramel slimming bar. Its a lot of syns for a small bar but it was good! Like a nice nutty flapjack.

I will have a good week this week!!

14/11/14 I am feeling so fucking grumpy! So I dash out of the place on my lunch break to try and sort out the accident that happened on my back seat. Firstly I find my window open that I left at 1pm yesterday and it rained all night so even though I put a bin bag on it my arse was soaking wet. I sit in loads of traffic trying to get to the nearest supermarket with a carwash and by the time I finally get to Morrisons they don’t wash the inside of cars! Very grumpy I headed back to eat my Bulgar wheat leftover with some chickpea dahl really not what i fancied!! Sometimes you just want to eat a sandwich and crisps arrrghhhhh!! This afternoon they had a children in need assembly so before I knew it was 3pm and time to go home! I went straight to pick my mum to do some more work on the caravan. I work her hard ha ha! She did some more sewing and I popped out to pick up a small table and 2 chairs for a fiver so I can do up and make some cash for next weekend! I also have mums table and chairs in my kitchen so its getting a bit crowded! Really to sell some and make a few pennies.

I really took a dip this evening and started feeling low. I miss my old work mates alot. I guess Ive been lucky to have made some really good friends in most of my jobs and worked a few times with family. I miss my old team and filthy Fridays in the staff room. You need that in a work place. Its easy to say its a job and to see people as colleague's but I didn’t see anyone on my lunch break today. I miss Minge and Cock. I had to go over to the little hospital to celebrate Mr D granddads birthday. They left everyone come along in the dining room which was really nice of them. I really wasn’t in the mood for socialising so I did struggle a little. I just wanted to go home and sit in my corner of the sofa and eat curly wurlys. I still turned down all the crisps going round, cake, jelly and ice cream. I was really please his granddad liked the jumper, socks and chocolates we bought him. Home and time to snuggle straight up in bed. We are so rock and role!!

15/11/14 My phone went off at 6.45am with my brother telling me he was at my front door with their dog. Bloody hell! Im a good sister. The pooches are bloody mental when they're together so I left them in the kitchen to scrap over a toy monkey holding a banana. I snoozed back off and then the alarm went off not much later for Mr D to go to work. I didn’t stay in bed I had to get boring stuff done this morning! I ran around taking back something to home bargains, had a drink when I picked up my cheque from Gs mum,took the dog to the vets and finally got my car cleaned inside so it was smelling fresh again!! Finally got home followed by Mr D. We had some lunch chilled and watched the last of Heroes with a disappointing end! We took the pooches for a walk in the usual spot in all the woods at the back of the park. It was quite beautiful all reds and oranges and I realised after all these years of walking there that there was a gate that led me right where my dad is at rest. How weird all these years and I’d never known his tree was right there. It started to get dark and we had a big dilemma what to do tonight. We were skint and really need to not spend any money but were getting tempted to do so. The Christmas lights were turned out in town tonight something I enjoy every year! But today I wasn’t that fussed. I had my scruffs on and it didn’t feel worth my while getting ready and going into town for 15 minutes and coming home again. With my family away it wasn’t the same without them so we stayed in. I made lemon chicken and rice for tea I chucked some spinach and fancy beans in it to put some goodness in but it wasn’t great. I was hoping it wasn’t just the chicken that wasn’t great as it had been in the freezer a while!! I was really pleased with how well I was doing being extra good this week! I was determined if i was extra good i was bound to have a good week on the scales so far everything has gone to plan. We watched some TV and a movie called ‘Chef’ not the best movie for dieting as they were going the best looking sandwich's ever! Hey sliced up the best looking meat added cheese then buttered the outside (mmm butter remember that stuff?!!) then toasted it. Sooooo good. Arhh I just had to make some supper. Instead of filling my face full of chocolate I decided to go syn free and made some fries in the oven. Nice and salty and crispy with my cheese allowance melted on top. We weren’t greedy we shared a bowl. Its bad when the highlight of your Saturday is home made chips and cheese I need to get out more!!

16/11/14 I love waking up fresh on a Sunday morning with no hangover!! Oooshhh I packed a slimming world bar for the journey. We pottered around the carboot then went to a few DIY shops. Originally we thought about chalk paint for the fridge in the caravan but you couldn’t get small pots so I decided to get lots of tester bits of wallpaper (quite large bits) so I spent no money! We went home and cooked a big fat dirty fry up. Just without the fat or the dirty really. Bacon (no fat of course) eggs, beans, tomato, mushroom. Mmmm no syns. I do miss the fact thatI give Mr D big chunks of crusty bread with his but its good enough to power through without. I am on fucking fire this weekend. What syns??!! Yesssss bring on skinny me!! We spent the next few hours in the caravan. Mr D was doing man stuff sawing shelves and making a shoe rack to fit perfectly in the cupboard. I was cutting and pasting the amazing bits of wall paper I’d chosen and it was done! Looking fabulous!

I bought some new spanx today for the little black dress season. Not matter which type you get theres always something that doesn’t suck in right. When they first came out and Gok had people on his show wearing them under every outfit everyone went mad for them. There were the all in one shorts ones to suck your thighs and belly in. Well for a start Gok theres no way you could wear them under your day to day jeans because you cant fucking breath!! On a night out I can grit my teeth and not breath for the evening after a few drinks you don’t notice. Then theres the problem that they just keep rolling down and you spent half the night trying to sneakily pull up back up again under the table. Then theres the ones that suck the bottom of your stomach in brilliant but in doing this they then push out the top of your stomach making you look more fat than you did in the first place. Lets not forget how ugly they were some big black shorts all in one. You do not want to be pulling in those bad boys! Ypu’d have to quickly wip it off in the toilets and just breath in for the next hour! Well todays suck you in pants are much better. They don’t seem to suck quite as much but the dresses seem to to give you a less rolly looking siluoute. Still round but less tyres and anything that helps flatten out any back fat has got to be damn bloody good! The only problem is because they have straps over your bra. (they go under your bust and support you boobs great!) you can often see the straps under the arms of the dress!! They are still to make the perfect suck me in undies but these are the best yet! And there actually not too ugly.