I do not share chips!

21/07/14 Didn’t get called in for supply again but even though any extra cash is always nice I was secretly happy I could make plans with my mum! Firstly I went to get weighed and found out I lost 5lb so my hard work before the low worked out for me! And spurred me on to work harder!! My Live Well man doesn’t really have much to say. Hes obviously not very enthusiastic about his job, his phone always goes off at least 3 times in my appointment with him. He could at least put it on silent! He said that it worked out about 3-4 pounds but I knew how much I weighed last week and looked it up and it was 5lb. Thick prick!

Me and mum had a lovely day. She loved our new garden and as a engagement gift bought us some more lovely flowers for it. I’m pleased she likes it shes the first one to see it and normally she can find a fault or 2 but she didn’t give any! We did some sowing were quite creative me and my mum and made some flags for the garden like in the Marks and Spencer advert. We popped to a few shops and nipped in for a brew with my nan and granddad. She always has a diet coke ready for me when I come round.

I was going to go to Kats Insanity class tonight. Mr D was away on training and I had the evening to myself. I was hoping Mrs B was able to come with me but she wasn’t sure if she could so I bottled it and didn’t go. I thought I’d go to the Booby shaking class and then a swim. I arrived to find out the pool closed at 5.30 that really annoyed me as I had just paid for 2 hours parking! Fuckers why does it close at 5.30?! The class was busy in a small room. Full of regulars. Camp man seems to be wearing eye liner today. Booby shaking Hip Hop Lady was wearing batman gym trousers, now that is impressive! I got my nice spot in the middle and as the class got going I started getting more and more annoyed with the lady infront of me! She was all legs and arms all over the place reminded me of Bambi when shes trying to walk! She kept getting closer and closer to me. Arms and legs just missing my fucking face! She skimmed me a few times, could she not feel that? Can she not see in the mirror I’m right behind her? At one point she’d push so far back I was in a Bambi, Posh Spice sandwhich!! And then Booby Shaker was dancing around and she came over to do the twist infront of me. I may like you batman trousers love but I do not want your sweaty crotch near my face!

With Mr D away I had to keep myself amused! I decided I wanted to stick with my hair colour but make it a little spicier! It went a little spicier than planned! Its a little on the bright side! Hmm so much for trying not to colour my hair!

22/07/14 Last day at work ooosshhh! Spent the morning going over the new kids for next year. It was pretty useful for me still being the newbie and finding a bit about the students families, support needs and triggers. We then just had to finish the clean up. Pottering around tidying up. I’d been eyeing up the skip outside all morning. The caretaker had been taking down all of the wooden kids playstuff out of the back and thought I could use some for a bench with the log ends I had at home. I like to think I started a trend as a few people started sniffing around it after I took a few pieces of wood. I wished I wasn’t wearing a long skirt as I’d got right in the skip and got some of the good bits out of the bottom but I couldn’t reach. A couple of the resi staff helped me. They said I should be on the show 'super scrimpers' Its a good show but I’m not sure I’d want to give away too many of my secrets or they’d be no bargains left for me. Skips are something Ive never really done but Kirsty (Allsopp) tells of all the goodies you can get from skips so I feel this is something I should try more in the future. Before I left I met D. He used to come to the school I work at and his mums a supply teacher here. Ive been given the opportunity to do a bit of work with him taking him out in the holidays. Extra dosh and something to do with my 6 weeks! Bonus! 6 weeks off is great if youve got kids or you have plenty of money! Dont get me wrong I’d love to be a lady that lucnches just go to the gym, eat out, get my hair done but unfortunately I can not afford that life style. Really pleased with some extra work!

Mr D took me out for dinner tonight to his fave pub. Its a cool place with real ale and random old shit like broken accordion on the side and candles everywhere. I like it. The menu was full of fabulous homecooked amazing sounding food so I actually surprised myself when I picked one of the healthiest options. I went for steak with a fruity kind of ju, with new potatoes, stilton and watercress. There wasn’t alot of stilton which was good because of the calories but enough for it to taste good. Mr D didn’t even mind that I’d choosen the most expensive thing on the menu. He went for fish and chips which looked equally fabulous. We decided to be good and not go for a pud even though we were very tempted by the cheese board. I actually feel pretty impressed with myself this evening.

23/07/14 I went along to the training the boss had asked me to go along and knew that I really needed to concentrate and take notes. In my old job I knew my stuff. Years of working within behaviour, going to meetings, working with agencies and families I knew my role and above inside out. I even spent time covering on SLT. This job is new to me I need more knowledge. I’m 30 now I need to realise I might actually need to learn things at training and not spend my time writing holiday clothing lists and doodling my latest fancy dress outfit and pretend like I’m just taking notes. (Ive done this for the last 10 years its hard to get out of a bad habbit) The truth is I’m really bad and concentrating and sitting still. At my last job Minge used to time how long I can sit in my seat for and it was never long. Strangely enough my lack of concentration skills is how a few of previous bosses picked up on my dyslexia. The first one I shrugged off but when my next boss said exactly the same thing I thought I better get tested. Its not something I really talk about much I don’t want to get judged on it. Anyway the training was reasonably interesting it was just update on new policies that I’d previously worked with a lot. I could see why the boss wanted me to know it as this was much my bag coming from a family worker background and she wants to keep me up to date. I spoke to some of the school staff I knew after (none of the resi staff were there) and they had no idea what anyone of it was about. It didn’t help that one small Chinese lady spoke incredibly fast and nobody had any idea what she was saying. Surely she couldn’t have been employed as a guest speaker??!

Anyway I zoomed straight off afterwards to get ready and go out with the resi team. Its hard when you go out in the middle of the day as you don’t know exactly how much effort to make but I like to make effort when I go out so plenty of slap and my hair extentions were in. Maxi dress on some flowers in my hair and I was ready. We had a nice meal bought on groupon. (I love a team that like a bargain!) but unfortunately I did not make a healthy choice. Thats the problem if I get to a meal too early. We had 20 minutes to look over the menu and slowly good choice start going at the window the hungrier I get. That why they tell you not to go food shopping when your hungry because you just make bad choices. So I went for fish, chips and mushy peas and it was damn good! Looking at some of the others plates I seemed to make a good choice as some of the others portions didn’t look nearly as generous. I even gave away a few chips which something I would never normally do. I must still be trying to be nice that may have been one of the most generous things ive ever done. I do not share chips! We then went to a bar with 2-4-1 cocktails all the school staff were in there still in the same clothes from training so I gather they came straight out. I felt a little dressed up but knew I wouldn’t have felt nice if I’d not. Obviously I had my usual stash of booze in my handbag. I went to the bar and bought the 2-4-1 mocktails which were just a nice orange combo. Someone asked me what I was drinking and I told them it was a mocktail. They said ‘Oo get you all sensible’ just shows how little these people really dont know me yet. Though I do think its sensible pouring my own vodka in. Its sensible as its saving me lots of pennies! The night was ok it was good to natter to a few folks over a few drinks. One girl I didn’t even know gave me a free cocktail. Bonus! My new team and a few others I don’t even know too well yet told me they have read some of my blog this freaks me out a little as my blog is really like my diary. I hope nobody gets easily offended as I just tend to say whatever I’m thinking. Its strange when I thought about starting a blog about trying to loose weight I didn’t think it would involve so much of my life but its turns out nearly everything I do effects the choices that I make and wheather Im going to lose weight all not.

The Mr came to pick me up about 7ish and when i got out in the fresh air I felt a little more tidderly than I thought I was. I hope the next work night out is a little more hardcore.

24/07/14 Today was the first day I was taking D out with J from work. There are alot of opportunities in our line of work to pick up extra work on the side helping families with a bit of rest bite and taking their child out places. With J going on holiday I was going to be his replacement for 2 weeks so the nice lady was paying both of us for 2 days so he could get used to me. D was a nice chap age 21 and even though he didn’t have a lot of speech he smiled alot of the time and was happy going on walks in the countryside. I came armed with pastries and ate a rather burnt and dry pan au chocalat for breakfast. We went to Carrsington the weather really got hot and even though the walk was pretty slow it was a lovely day in the sunshine. We stopped for lunch in the cafe outside and I made a healthy choice of a healthy turkey sarnie. The wind picked up a lot first taking some of my salad then taking the top of my sandwhich! For gods sake I pick something healthy then the bloody wind takes it ! I wanted that sandwhich! It was a nice days work me and J nattered about work and our up and coming weddings which are both next summer. I wasnt hungover at all and apart from getting a quite badly sunburnt back. (I was hardly going to get my new work collegue or the student to rub in my back was I?!) it was a good day. I did have a ice cream. I didn’t really even think about it partly due to half of my sandwhich blowing away and still being hungry and partly due to it being sooo hot I needed something nice and cold.

No exercise for me tonight! I was pretty pooped and I needed to start making sure everything was ready for Saturday! So I wrote lists!

25/07/14 Got picked up about 9.40 and took D out again with J from work. Today we took him swimming. We went for a nice drive first up to where J lives and used the baths there. It was fun D seemed to really enjoy himself. He seems to be taking to me fine and smiles at me a lot which is nice and I think means he likes me! We were in the pool for over an hour. I was wrinkly and cold but got a fair amount of swimming done. Always good to get some exercise in when you’re getting paid. Double whammy!! Me and J started a game where we had to guess peoples lives. Very stereotypical guessing there jobs and marital status but it was amusing. After lunch where I made a reasonable choice of brie and cranberry Panini it was time to take D home.

That evening we were going to a wedding reception. Mr D wasn’t sure we’d have time to go but I made sure everything was ready for the party. I love going to weddings! I don’t go to nearly enough! Now it didn’t matter that I didn’t know the couple. I didn’t even know the brides name! The groom was somebody Mr D worked with. The first good thing about going to a wedding is you get to wear one of your beautiful dresses and you can go for a fancier than average hair accessories. I love getting dressed up and  went for a floral dress with a messy side bun, swept fringe and a beautiful 40s style feather fascinator. So much nicer than Ive described. Then I look forward to how theve decorated the place, her dress, the first dance and the buffet! Unfortunately it was a very average wedding at a well known golf club in Derby. It was extremely small and probably for a lot of money. They’d tried and had a sweet counter and a photo booth but there was nothing original about it. The dress was boring, the cake standard 3 tier. The outdoor space was small and right next us was all the public eating their dinner. Kids were singing on the microphone and the bride sang a little song. Nobody danced. There were about 50 guests but everyone was happy when the buffet opened. As usual all thoughts of trying to be good were out of the window and I had a place of quiche, chicken goujons and other beautiful little pastry type goodies. We also went back for more. Ugh double badness but the food was pretty nice.  The bride and groom looked happy and thats all that really matters. As long as it was the perfect day for them but it couldn’t have been more opposite to what we wanted. After a little pose with some extra large sunglasses and a crown on in the photo booth we headed for home.

26/07/14 Sooo tired I feel like I haven’t slept properly for so long. I spent the morning making burgers, potatoe salad and cleaning up in a zombie style state. I used all my energy on making the garden look pretty with bunting and setting the table beautifully. At one point I contemplated a nap to sort me out but I just didn’t have enough time not even blasting out some Gaga or Mcfly got me in the zone. I didn’t even spend much time getting ready it was hot and sticky so couldn’t put much slap on, put my extentions in but just went with the side pony. I even had chipped nails, not great for my engagement party! People soon started piling in with bags of food. I was busy cooking in the kitchen and the Mr was on the Barbie. The garden was buzzing was both our families and friends people seemed to be mingling well and enjoying the food. I barely had time to eat I only grazed whilst I busied round. I had a burger and a sausage and that was about it even though I’d made skewers and fish parcels and loads of other goodies. I didn’t have time to drink much either I had a few coors light which I kept forgetting where I’d left them. I wish people would only turn with one thing for the bbq we had a lot of sausages and enough cobs to last us weeks! The ducks would certainly be getting a good feast this week! Me and Mr D started chilling out a bit and mingling more everybody was starting to get merry and I moved on to some peach snapps. Not too strong but a nice Saturday afternoon fruity beverage. People came and went everybody seemed pretty happy and it was pretty bloody fabulous. Mr Ds mum gave us the quote she had got for our wedding it was above what we had in the budget which I thought it would be. An hour later Mr and Mrs D had a chat with me and junior Mr D and told us they would like to pay for us to have the package that they’d got the quote for. It was amazing and would save alot of stressing over putting up marquees and lights and trying to sort out dance floors and geneators. It was a amazing gift! I’m not good at excepting small gifts but this was something else. I said we would pay some of it back which they declined but I will try again at a future date. This really is going to be a amazing wedding but we knew that anyway J

Only the hardcore were left drinking and I really didn’t think I was that bad when my Aunty bought out the bottle of black sambuka. I remember doing some shots and then happily sitting on log ends and playing guitars around our fire pit in the new woodland style back bit of our garden. I also remember having a good cry about my old job and how muched i missed it. Strange how sometimes it takes the truth to come out when your drunk. I cried becasue I missed the kids, I cried becasue I missed having a good job where people relied on me and I was a imporant part of running the place. I miss people coming to me for advice and decsion making. Bloody hell I miss the bloody mad house!

It was exactly how we hoped it would be. (The garden and the party) it goes blurry around that point and I have vague memories of puking up some booze before I hit the sack.

27/07/14 Oh my gosh so hungover today it was unreal! I wondered downstairs about 7am got some water and headed back upstairs I quickly deteriorated. My head did not want to leave the pillow my head fuzzy and feeling sick. After lying awake for hours feeling shit I was sick. Pure booze ugh. Mr D went out for breakfast with his mate that stayed and I stayed in bed feeling sorry for myself. By the time he was back I had a little nibble on some dry bread and thought I was ready for breakfast. Mr D made me a sausage cob and I knew after one bite it didn’t feel right but he’d made for me so I ate it up. 30 minutes later I didn’t even have time to make the bathroom, good job my bin was there. Ugh poor Mr D having to listen to that. More hours ticked by of similar scenarios and Mr D accidently bought me a salt and garlic cob instead of a bit of butter on it. By 6pm I was finally on the mend and we ate left over BBQ food whilst watching a lovely little film. I know Mr D let me watch what I wanted to make me feel better! I heard a few stories of how I fell off a chair and crashed about midnight after telling everyone I was sober. Its very rare I’m ill after drinking especially when I didn’t really drink that much. One of my mates N equally able to drink as much as me was also dog rough and puking. I don’t think black sambuka is for me! Back in bed by 9pm and I didn’t even look at the cleaning I needed to do in the kitchen!