Slam fucking what?

Sunday 9^th Febuary

Woke up still drunk feeling fine. Happy to see a empty packet of mini chedders on his side of the bed and not mine! 1 hour later I felt like death!! Even the mister making me a nice healthy scrambled egg and mushrooms in bed did not even help. So I slept and slept a little more then got up about 2.30 feeling a little better. After some quavers and many pints of squash some good snuggled up on sofa time I was about back to normal. By 6pm we were good and went out for carvery. Now today I was rough, I was greedy but good greedy?! I had a plate full of meat and veg! And there was such a wide variety of veg that I just kept adding it on but this did mean a rather large plate full. Even Mr D questioned how much I should be eating. Fortunately, Unfortunately?! Some of the veg was a little hard for my taste. So I left half a plate full. Felt better.

Now this is my favourite carvery but they also do the most amazing looking puddings I’ve ever seen. The hugest cakes in all varities, home made and they do cake away so if your too full you can take them away! Now I’ve never had any of these cakes. I’ve always been to full after my carvery or on a diet. This would be the perfect place for my birthday meal! Just lots of cake!! Perfect thats my birthday evening sorted!!

Popped to see mum then home for a good early night.

Monday 10^th February

Woke up feeling like crap. My body ached, I felt hot and cold and just completly exhausted. I couldn’t get out of bed so thats where I stayed all day. Managed to watch a bit of day time TV a few housey programmes which I’m pretty fond of and then theres the food programmes. After still sticking to my healthy eating and eating avocado on toast and boiled eggs I decided at 3pm I’d watch ‘Man vs Food’ now alot of people it would probably make feel sick but it just makes me want to eat burgers! I don’t eat burgers very often but I love a good quality one with some nice cheese on top. Don’t be messing it up with bacon and onion rings just good quality meat and cheese. Apparently the guy has got thin now and doesn’t do the challenges anymore. I reckon I could defiantly do a few of those challenges.

Then I watched a bakery programme. Bakeries competing against each other to win something not sure what. Now each bakery had to make some fancy bread, Danish pasteries and fondant fancies. There were 4 groups. Then some skinny Minnie presenter went round trying all of them. That’s 4 pieces of fancy bread, 4 Danish pasteries and 4 fondant fancies with in a short space of time not even counting all the other things they have to try. Theres no way your telling me she manages to keep her shape by eating like that unless thats all she eats ever! A proper cake taster would be fat. FACT!

Tuesday 11^th February

Still feeling like crap.  Its like I’ve just completely worn myself out physically and mentally. I can’t seem to snap out of this really low feeling. My mum’s out of hospital and doing week but shes worried about me. I think everything has just got on top of me. The stress at work trying to fit in exercising and applying for jobs as well as all the other normal things. I really I hope I’m feeling well and snap out of it soon. Another day in bed.

I’m really trying to stick to my ‘clean’ eating. Sticking to my wholemeals and not eating processed food is not really a problem. I do struggle not eating potatoes. I’m not a fan of sweet potatoes and potatoes are just fabulous! Mash, roast, a good crispy jacket potatoe mmm But I’m doing really well cutting down and I’ve got to stay focussed on that. I’m not emotional eating which is a really big deal for me especially with how I’m currently feeling.

Happy when Mr D came home. He seems a little worried about me too. Really need to get back on form. I’ll start with a early night. Sleep is important.

Wednesday 12^th February

Still not feeling great so great so went to the doctors. Started feeling bad for not being at work The Head Teacher always gets on at us for poor attendance even though there’s always a staff member off with stress or a bad back due to being shoved around at work. This is never taken into account. There’s no way I could have been at work this week. You need to be completely on your guard in our job so you need to be on full form. Doctor just said I had a virus which I’ve probably court due to being run down he said I need to go back if I keep getting stressed.

In the afternoon I started feeling more myself.  After missing out on exercise I decided to go to what was Kats 4.30 class I’d seen the new woman and I knew it wasn’t going to be hard core like Kats for one the lady was rather curvious herself. It may sound bad but when I want to work hard and lose weight I feel more confident when paying somebody to help me with this when they themselves are super fit! I was right, I work harder having a big stretch when I get of bed in the morning than I did during the warm up. It was so slow and the rest of the class didn’t pick up that much either. There was a track singing about ‘bouncing around’ where we weren’t bouncing around at all only just moving. The woman was so enthustic and kept whooping but the only one seem to be enjoying it was camp man. He loved all the Spanish music, cha cha chaing. Wiggling his hips from side to side watching himself in the mirror. Many people walked out part way through. I barely broke a sweat even with adding in my own extra bounces.

Found out some really bad news today. Something awful happened to my best friend. Makes you put things into prospective sometimes. All this focussing on being fit and healthy. Doesn’t change some of the bigger things in life. Sometimes things are fucking shit!

Thursday 13^th February

Back to work and I was lucky it wasn’t a bad day. I went out doing some home visits with one of my Amigo’s (The three Amigos at work nicknames Cock, Minge and Jugs- me being Jugs) and just had a nice catch up. This made me feel much better, was nice to see my buddies and nice to be missed.  Today I started feeling a bit more back to normal and I was very excited about my new fridge freezer arriving! Yes I know thats sad but nice things for my home make me happy and weve had to save for this big beautiful American style fridge freezer so this makes me happy.

I tried on my skirt again for my costume tonight. Still a little snug but definitely fitting better than last time. I really need to get my act together only just over a month until my party and I want to be feeling as slim as possible. I’m wearing a corset so that will suck in all the middle area but thats not always good as it can push down your spare tyre to underneath the corset and then your left looking even more round than you were before! Luckily I am a pro at hiding spare tyres and my skirt is a peplum skirt so with the corset and the extra frill covering up any areas I don’t like I may not be able to breathe but I’ll be looking more slender.

Friday 14^th February

Another good day at work spent the day off site with one student. Apart from having a abusive phone call at 4pm  which is not out of the ordinary a good day all round. Then it was time for my first personal trainer session. Fucking Hell I thought I knew how to work hard at the gym but I was knackered and dripping with sweat after 5 minutes!  I work hard in my classes jumping around for a whole hour but this wasn’t like I’d ever done before not even at bootcamp. Boxing and kicking and frog squats and planking with weights on my back and cycling standing up. Short bursts of hard core exercise. Bloody bollaxed by the end of it! And went back aching all over to the Mr slaving away hard cooking us  a romantic treat night meal. At first I just felt sick but when the aroma of melted cheese hit me it didn’t take long to feel hungry. I dragged my aching body in the shower. The last thing on my mind squeezing into some lacy number for Valentine’s Day and there was no way I’d be doing any fancy hanging from the lampshade moves in the bedroom later. I can only just walk!

Stuffed mushrooms, homemade pizza candle lit, presents followed by peanut ice cream on the sofa watching a movie! Perfect Valentine’s Day all round! I am very lucky to have such a wonderful Mr J

Saturday 15^th February

Thought I’d do the same as last week snooze for a while then go straight to class. I arrive at 10.30 to be told Dance Fit is at 9.30. 10.30 is triple challenge. Okay. This lot looked serious as we queued to get in. The instructor watching the previous class through the window saying ‘Ooo she isn’t warming down for very long, she should be doing that for a lot longer. She doesn’t seem to have worked them very hard’ I instantly disliked her. That was just rude to slate another instructor in front of members. Fucking Bitch. So already disliking the instructor I started the class. The first half was a load of bollocks I had no idea what was going on. The instructor just stood at the front and bellowed she looked like Martin Lawrence in Big Mammas House. The main reason I had no idea what was going on is because she never bloody showed us! The cult of regulars knew all the moves so when she shouted out Hot Chocolate and everyone did some swiverly side step I didn’t have a chance! ‘Box step, add a spin, pony, now slam’ What?! Slam fucking what?!