Seeds for lunch???

Sunday 11^th January

Its bootcamp time again! Feeling a little more confident this week and happily strolled in with the week’s food diary under my arm! We went around the circle asking about how our week went and alot of positive comments around the group. A fit tanned blonde lady kitted out in her addidas lycra commented that she feels like she’s eating more than usual. She was having scrambled egg for breakfast and at lunch time just not feeling hungry and just wanting seeds for lunch.

SEEDS FOR LUNCH???   Who gets full on seeds? Am I missing something? Bloody hell!!

Today I made a friend. As I’ve said before I may be a confident outgoing person that feels confident around the people I know but I’m really not fond of making new friends. I must of naturally gone towards one of the few more curvaious members of the group. She was nice a bit older than myself but she’d already lost 5 stone so I’m more than happy to get a bit of advice from her. We paired up being the 2 heaviest it seemed to make sense especially when it comes to things like the punch bag I can’t be having some wafer thin on the side. One punch and she’ll be the other side of the room! Then she made us sprint. Now I like sprinting. As long as its short distance I’m actually pretty fast for a fat bird. We had to sprint there and back 3 times none stop. Unfortunately my curvious new friend has a bad knee and couldn’t do it so I ended up teamed up with a Ponchontus skinny whippet. There was no way this whippet was going to beat me! I am a competitive person which I hope is going to finally see me tackle this weight problem for good!

Well I gave it some! Not some half hearted effort that some of these manicured beauties put in but fully pelted it through the gym.  I don’t do things by halfs, let’s do this properly!! I could see her close behind me but I was not stopping and sped through the end! Winning! There was no way I was going to loose and I felt bloody great! And then I felt really sick like I was going to throw up at any point. Nobody else felt sick. I’d obviously pushed myself too far and though I was going to spew up this morning’s yogurt everywhere. Luckily after many sips of  water I did a big greek yogurt and honey burp and I was back on form again!

Later on it was weigh in time! Lost another 3lb. 10lb in 2 weeks I’m pretty chuffed with that!!

Monday 12^th January

Tonight to class I took my sister in law with me which made a nice change to doing so much of my exercise on my own. Now Mrs B is very fit! I was happy to drive to class, Mrs B ran to class! Her and my brother are super fit. They work very hard eating healthy and  exercising lots and even finding time to squeeze it all round having a baby to look after. But there not the kind of couple that don’t let there hair down. They love a good Chinese take away and slice of cake like the rest of us they then just do the right thing and work it off the next day. There dedicated and they do it together which I believe is part of the key to losing weight for good. If you’ve got someone by your side supporting you through instead of stuffing their face full of chocolate chip cookies whilst your munching on celery it makes things a lot easier. I am lucky that I have found a man now that supports me and helps me without making me feel bad when I’m having a tough day.

I also like having a friend with me as it encourages me to do my best. Having someone super fit by your side is only going to push me to do my best and be at the top of my game. I don’t like to appear weak. That just because I’m big I can’t do it. Because I can and I can do it well!!

Tuesday 13^th January

Everybody had been tucking in to nice large piece of this big fat chocolate cake with chocolate butter cream icing and I turned it down. Then it started calling me. It was sitting there in the staff kitchen looking all chocolately and yummy and I just couldn’t resist the smallest slither of a slice and it tasted good. But that is all I had but today instead of beating myself up about it. I felt good. So many times I would have gave in and ate a big chunk with my colleagues (who many are constantly on a variety of failing diets also) but today I am proud of myself because stopping at just a slither is hard.

Fuck you chocolate cake!

Wednesday 14^th January

I managed to make the mad dash and make it to my favourite class but I got stuck in front of the mirror. There’s nothing I hate more than being in a class in front of the mirror. The site of me jumping up and down seeing everything wobberly about is enough to put me off going to classes for good. I like to stand at the back and make sure I am stood directly behind somebody so I can’t see any glimpse of myself in the mirror. But today I just had to get by and constantly look slightly to the left so I didn’t have to look at myself.   It was hard though as no matter how much I looked to the left out of the corner of my eye I could still see a big orange blob bouncing up and down.

Today I’m not feeling so great about myself.

Thursday 15^th January

Today I thought I was going to get in some good exercise at work but my timetable changed! BOLLOCKS! Thursdays I used to work off site with some young people doing some work in the gym and then gong for a swim! Which is fantastic any exercise you can get in work time is brilliant! oooshhhh paid to get fit!!  (As long as I remember to bring a vest top to put under my cozzie can’t be having any cleavage on show when working with teenage boys) but the timetable changed to quite the opposite. I was covering a cooking lesson and today’s lesson Victoria sponge! BOLLOCKS. Not only have I never cooked a Victoria sponge but I could really fancy a slice of cake. Before the cooking of cake began the student had to design a poster and invite for his folder. Fantastic whilst he was busy colouring in I manged to raid the kitchen cupboards and make a honey, oat and fruit flapjack. No cake was consumed at all. I even chucked away half a bowl full of chocolate icing as unfortunately the recipe wasn’t there for the middle so I just had to wing and somehow managed to make about 5 times the amount we needed.

Friday 16^th January

Oooo nearly time for treat night. Mmm all the possabilities of the goodness I want to enjoy! Was supposed to be off for a buffet style meal for my friends birthday but it got prosponed until next Friday so then I just spent the morning thinking about where we could go for treat night. Now my other half Mr D is just as excited about treat night as me. He is more than happy to eat healthy all week and he genuinely enjoys a good salad but treat night is something that can’t be decided quickly. We need to make sure we pick something that we’ve been craving so we will not give in to temptation at any other point in the week. I decided to take him for some proper good pub grub with good size portions and proper chips not fries! First though I managed to squeeze in a Friday after work zumba class. Unfortunately I felt it was hardly worse my while. If I’m putting a hour side of my Friday evening to exercise I want to exercise good and hard! The class was okay. I few dance moves a little jumping up and down here and there but not a patch on Kats class. Since starting Kats classes where she works you really hard but manages to make it enjoyable at the same time unfortunately none of the other classes match up. Probably burnt half the calories I do in her class. If I’m lucky!

Saturday 17^th January

Started the day by nipping into work just to gain some lieu time so I can get off early on a Wed to get to Kats class. Thats what you call dedication!

 Then I went off for a swim. I like to swim and try and like to go at least twice a week. Swimming gives me time to think. Think about all the things I need to do. Want to do. It was whilst  swimming in December that made me think about the idea of writing a book about the trials and tribulations of trying to loose weight. A friend of mine suggested I start of by putting it in a blog and thats where it all began. I hope she doesn’t want royalties one day when I’m rich and famous ;)

Saturday afternoon I cracked with filling in my application form for a job. These things can be so complicated sometimes. I really need to sit and concentrate. Luckily Mr D had gone out on his brewery tour I’d bought him for his birthday so no distractions. I’d decided to go booze free in January which didn’t really bother me that much. Kat had then asked us to go without booze whilst we were on boot camp so I felt quite determined that this would be something I could stick to and so far so good. People that know me would say yes she likes a drink but in honesty I don’t really. Yes I do like to party and have a good night out and I will consume many beverages but as 30 approaches’ they are not as many as they used to be. I don’t enjoy alcohol. Mr D loves a good pint of ale and genuinely enjoys it but there’s no real alcoholic beverage I really enjoy so I rarely have a casual drink. I don’t sit at home with a sneaky glass of wine unless I was heading for a night out. But when i went to pick up the boys who by 8pm we starting to wobble a little as they walked to the car. Then I did quite fancy a couple. I will be strong.

Another 2 weeks without booze to go!