Sun 23rd March
Up early which didn’t matter as I’d passed out by 9.30 last
night time to do another carbooty and shift some junk out of the shed! It was steady
and i stood there people watching for most of the morning. You get a variety of
people at Derby carboot!! There was a odd looking girl that stood out for all
the wrong reasons. She had red hair shaved on one side that kind of looked like
a Mohawk that had grown out and just flopped to one side. I mainly noticed her
as she was wearing a vest that looked over stretched with everything bursting
out. The sun was shining but it was freezing I had my thick winter coat but you
get some that the second they see sun out go out half naked. In the time I was
staring at this odd contraption walking towards me it took me a good few minutes
to realise that hanging off her arm was Twat. Now at first I found this amusing and
then I realised they were getting closer to our stall. Mr D had never seen Twat.
I tried to talk loudly as he approached the stall so he’d hear me and fuck off
but he was too thick for that so it wasn’t until he spotted some of his old
shit on my stall that he realised and quickly scuttled off. I told Mr D. Not
sure if this was the right thing but i just tell him everything automatically.
I joked he should have smashed him in the face and soon after Mr D went for a
‘walk’. Such mixed emotions. I would love to smash him in the face thats the
least he deserves but unfortunately Twat still has a hold of over our house.
Dirty fucking BASTARD! I felt like warning the poor odd girl what a complete
and utter scumbag he was. Mr D returned looking shifty. Shit what had he done?!
He was tempted he followed him a bit. I hope Twat saw him, he would have shit
himself he was such a pussy!! Many thoughts had gone through Mr Ds head but he
made the right choice and came back. No matter how much he deserves to be
beaten to a pulp hes not worth our time or energy. This kind of tainted my day I
just wanted to go home close the curtains and snuggling in our little nest with
Mr D and the pooch. It was strange later on I saw my other long term ex I won’t
call him a name but equally he doesn’t deserve to be known by a letter. Derbys
a small place he now lives round the corner from me, his garden backs on to
ours but I havnt seen him until today. It just felt like someone was trying to
tell me something. My past slapping me in the face, but for what??
Food plan and exercise plan for the week done! I’m back in
control!!
Monday 24th March
Today felt good to wake up and be in control again. I felt
positive and knew that nothing would stop me today. I put my jeans on. I don’t
normally wear jeans, not because I don’t like them but because I can never get
a a pair that fit me well. The nearest I can get on the tall range at Dorothy
Perkins. I’m 5ft 8 so not a giant but I often find trousers riding around my
ankle area. Not cool when I’m wearing one red polka dot sock and one inside out
mans blue sock. I decided to wear them as my legs look pretty good in skinny
jeans. Not the thigh area of course bur a nice long top will cover that
nicely. So I’m pleased that they look okay in the mirror but they are not
particularly comftable. They don’t seem quite long enough in the body. I don’t
want muffin top hanging over the edge of my jeans and I don’t want my arse
hanging out of my jeans when I’m sitting down. Theres nothing worse than seeing
arse hanging out. I mean can’t you feel that your whole arse is on show? Is
there not a chill down your crack? And even worse when you have a fat arse
like mine. That would really not be a good look for me. I put a belt on to try
and stop the arse situation but this meant a belt digging into me all day. I
think I may give the jeans a miss for a while.
I made a poster of my head on top of a model modelling the
Kelly Brook swimwear range. I stuck it to the fridge at home and on the food cupboard at work. Mr D thought it was hilarious but I'm hoping it will keep me focussed.
Went to the booby shaking class. There was one of the
regulars stood at the front. Long blonde hair pulled back, small, fit, matching
Tiffany silver neckalace and braclet, inside ear piercing all in black. Moves
perfectly like shes in a Pussycat doll video. I overheard her conversation with
Camp man saying she always stands infront of the doors so she can’t see herself
in the mirror. That she can’t bare to see herself in the mirror because she
looks awful. Nice to know I’m not the only one even though it took me by
suprise. I guess its not just lumps of lard like me that don’t like to watch
ourselves shake it!
Tuesday 25th March
Started the day positive and wearing a skirt that I havn’t
worn for a while because I couldn’t do the zip up. The zip was pretty busted
probably after all the times I spent trying to squeeze into but it was
defiantly nearly up! Started my day with porridge blueberries and banana and
was feeling positive and in a good place. By 10am the smell of meat pie had
filled the whole school. Our school is really small so anything cooking in the
kitchen spreads throughout the school. This loses the appeal when something
burns and the smells lurks around all day. I was still feeling positive and good about my
5 day plan for food and exercise when the ususal difficult day kicked in at
work. If you don’t work in a similar environment you really have no idea how
physically and mentally draining the job can be. By lunchtime I’d spent a good
part of my day on the physical side. Lifting a 14 year old for reasonable
amount of time must be good exercise. Though I was using one side of my body
more than the other. Better not do that too often or I’ll end up completely
hench (in the words of the kids) on one side and not so much on the other.
Maybe I can say to the student ‘wait don’t kick off why I’m on the left hand
side it needs to be the right hand side this week’ Obviously there is no time
for warm ups. The bottom of my back, shoulders and neck are killing as well as
a kick I took to the hand which was already bruising. I’m knackered and just want to go home.
Tuesday is my work late day so unfortunately the gym is off the cards today.
Not a excuse.
This evening I cooked stir fry. I bloody hate stir fry but
still cook it usually once a week. I can normally pick up a good pack of stir fry
veg and a pack of noodles for 10p each so even though I’m not fond its a good
cheap healthy meal. I’ve worked out that chilli is the answer to improving it.
I marinated the prawns some sliced up tuna all day in chilli and coriander and
added a good amount of sweet chilli stir fry sauce from B and M. You can pick them
up for about 19p each. Having B and M home stores down the road from where you
work is handy for some good bargains but equally very tempting to spend money
on candles and cushions and anything else that’s on offer that week!
I do love a bargain.
Wednesday 26th March
Average day but didn’t end up finishing until 6.30. I was
really hoping to go to a class tonight. Kat runs a class on a Wednesday
7.15-8.15 which I was going to but as I sat in traffic back from Leicester 2
hours after I was supposed to finish all I wanted was some nice food and a
glass of wine. So that is what I did. I’m not much of a casual drinker I’m a
all or nothing kind of girl. Don’t really see the point in just having a couple
of drinks. I don’t enjoy alcohol really so I find it a little pointless. But we
cracked open one of my birthday bottles ate some chicken and quinoa and watched
some Kirsty on the tele. I do love a bit of Kirsty Allsopp especially when she’s
looking at bargains. Furnish your home for free? Yes please!! Its got me back
in decorating mode. I need to finish scraping that wall and making it look
fabulous!!
Caught up on My Mad Fat Diary. Beautiful ending where she
gets naked in front of the fittie! Good for her. I’m probably way to into this
programme than I should be but she maybe a 16 year old fictional character but
I can relate to some of her issues. Its hard getting naked in front of others
when you can’t bear to look at it yourself.
Thursday 27th March
I’m at that stage in the week where I’ve been eating healthy
all week and already feeling loads better. My stomachs less bloated my clothes
are feeling a little baggier and I just feel better in general. I need to
remember how this feels. The food blog does help, writing everything down so
you can see how well your doing. Nothing at work is tempting me, not even the
smell of pie which was floating through the building again today. Not even the
bag of seabrooks ready salted crisps that were left on the side in the kitchen.
Crunchy ridged salty yumminess. I’m back in the zone!!!
Went out for dinner in one of the many nice pubs in
Ashbourne that do none chainy home cooked pub grub. I thought there would be a
fair amount of things I could eat on the menu but unfortunately there wasn’t.
You then find yourself in the fight or flee situation. Do you fight and stick
to your healthy eating plan or do you just think fuck it and eat what you want.
There were a choice of salads and people are always quick to say ‘ooo you can
have a salad’ I don’t want a fucking salad! A salad is something I eat for
lunch every day something I can put together myself in 2 minutes! If I’m coming
out to eat and everybody around me is eating something tasty I want something
fucking tasty too! JUST BECAUSE I’M EATING HEALTHY DOES NOT MAKE ME A RABBIT!!
Every meal came with chips or dolpheni potatoes. I can’t have either. I opted
for steak fajitas I thought this wasn’t a bad option. Sizzling steak, peppers
and onions. I didn’t eat all the wraps and tried to go light on the toppings.
It was tasty and I think I did okay. Pretty chuffed with that.
Friday 28th March
Shit has hit the fan at work today. I’ve had enough of this bullshit I
was actually happy to fuck off to Leicester. Took my student to tesco to pick
her lunch and they had some beautiful dresses! Yes in tesco! The kind you’d
wear to a nice spring wedding (not that I’m going to any) With it being pay day
I was very tempted but my usual size looked on the large size. Unfortunately if
I took 10 minutes to try it on my student would be hanging from the ceiling
with a croissant in her mouth and you don’t have such thing as a break. A wee
is considered a treat most days. Then I went off to see my new student. We went
for a game at Megazone. Now I consider Megazone a competitive sport. Its
serious, there’s no way I am going to loose. I intend to win every time. None
of this keep the children happy let them win. What is that teaching them?! There
was only 4 of us in there me , student, lady who worked there and Herman
Murman. Hermon wouldn’t leave me alone he’d appear round every corner and shoot
me.How is this little chubby kid who seems to struggle to pick up any speed
keep appearing infront of me?! I never seemed to be able to shoot him first I
swear he had some invisible force round him so he couldn’t get shot. Little
bastard Hermon won hands down. I was happy with second place. A successful
afternoon after only seeing her 4 times I’ve managed to get her from I’m never
ever fucking going near that school the only way you will get me there is in a
police car. ‘Can I come up next week?’ This is why I am not a teacher. My job
is to engaged the unengageable and that is what i do best.
My personal trainer session had been cancelled for this
evening so after rushing around all day I then rushed to get to the dance fit
class. Theres was a sign on the car park meter ‘class cancelled’ i took this as
a sign to tell me I’m just not supposed to exercise today!
Decided to relax instead made a healthy homemade pizza and
butternut squash chips and we watched ‘saving Mr Banks’ amazing film. Didn’t
even bother with a glass of wine didn’t want to waste any calories.
Saturday 29th March
Up at 6am I must bloody love my mum! Mum was really keen to
do a stall at Willington today so even though I was feeling bloody knackered
half asleep I was loading my car full of crap when all I wanted to do is have
an extra hour and snuggle up to the Mr. As I guessed it wasn’t worth our while
and we hardly made any money but my mum was reasonably happy that a few quid is
better than nothing! I then dashed home to make a healthy apple pie for this
evening Mothers Day Meal and then dashed off again to get tattooed! I like to
treat myself to a tattoo with my birthday money every year. Something I think
is beautiful. I’m not sure why I went for my arm again because I hate my arms
and by getting them tattooed really its only getting people to look at my
really fat arms?! But equally its covering the fat up with beautiful things?! I
went back to the guy I used to have, hes pricey but you have to pay for quality
which is more important than ever when getting inked forever!!Hes a celebrity
tattooist these days so its hard to get in with him! He’s recently done Harry
Styles, JLS, Rizzle Kicks, Dappy??!! Even been on GMTV lately. Nothing but the
best for me! 4 hours later and I was very happy with the result!! Rushed home to
get everything ready to take over to the brother new pad! I wasn’t going to
drink but the Mr and the bro had decided I could drive, leave my car and get a
taxi home. To be fair after my busy day I quite fancied a drink so I didnt
object!
Saturday night was now treat night!! Whoop the Mr and I did
some nachos with cheese and chillis and roasted peppers for starters!! Followed by Mr Bs southern fried chicken
style curry rice and garlic bread. MASSIVE CARB FEST!! And with alcohol in full
flow I was not skimpy on my portion size. After even more drinks we had some of
my healthy crumble with some cartedor vanilla ice cream for pud! Unfortuantely
2 marshmellows and chocolate sauce just don’t cut it for me! I wish it did!
Then rapideo came out. Great game and I do like playing
games but I CAN’T BEAR CHEATERS!! Not on any level. So I automatically get
really annoyed when people start cheating. This often causes conflict at family
gatherings and saw me boot my brother out my house on New Years Day. The mums
were drunk and playing on the same team and they were cheating. I just don’t
see the point? Why play a game if your just going to cheat?! FUCKS SAKE!!! I
bit my lip after my bro kept giving me the look but I just don’t want to
fucking play if people are cheating.
CHEATERS NEED TO FUCK OFF!!
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